Tips for a Good Marriage
God’s word tells how marriage was designed by God as a blessing to mankind (Genesis 2:18-24). God’s word contains many instructions and principles which will help our marriages be what God intends for them to be. It will be impossible in one article to cover all of these commands and principles which will help us have good marriages. Rather, we want to examine a few truths from God’s word which will help us have a marriage as God intends for it to be.
Marriage is to be a lifelong commitment between two individuals (Matthew 19:6; Romans 7:2-3; 1 Corinthians 7:39). Many marriages are not what they ought to be because one or both parties are not committed to making the relationship last till death parts them. A good marriage must include a commitment to one another for the rest of one’s life.
Marriage is to be an exclusive relationship (Hebrews 13:4). Many marriages sadly are ruined because one or both spouses are not faithful to their spouse. Instead, they commit fornication and adultery. Let’s be loyal to our spouse and not ruin our marriages by committing fornication and adultery.
Marriages, which are what God want them to be, consist of both spouses fulfilling the roles which they were given by God (Ephesians 5:22-33; Colossians 3:18-19; 1 Peter 3:1-7). Husbands need to love their wives selflessly and be willing to sacrifice themselves for them. Husbands need to look to the example of Jesus for the type of love they should demonstrate toward their wives. Husbands are to honor their wives and not be bitter toward them. Wives are to be submissive to their husbands as the church is submissive to Christ. Each individual needs to focus on being what God expects them to be rather than focusing on whether their spouse is what God wants them to be.
Marriage is to be a relationship where both parties try to help each other reach heaven. Here are a couple of points which might emphasize the husband’s role in seeking to help his wife make it to heaven. 1 Peter 3:7 reminds husbands they are to treat their wives, “as being heirs together of the grace of life” (NKJV). 1 Corinthians 14:34-35 instructs women to be silent in the churches but also adds, “if they want to learn something, let them ask their own husbands at home” (NKJV). The marriage relationship ought to be a relationship where each person receives spiritual strengthening from the other. Godly people should spiritually strengthen others in all the relationships they have with them (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12; Proverbs 27:17). One practical way husbands and wives might help one another grow stronger spiritually together is by spending time in Bible study together. One side benefit to studying the Bible with one’s spouse is it helps the two of you become more united as God’s word transforms your thinking (Philippians 3:16; 1 Corinthians 14:33; 1:10). God’s word can aid spouses by giving them wisdom and direction as they attempt to navigate life’s problems together (Psalm 119:105). One couple I recently read about read the Bible together daily and when they were apart due to one of them traveling they still read the same passage on that day so they were both meditating on the same things from God’s word. When I read about this, I thought such was a wonderful idea to help us have a good marriage!
Marriage is to be a relationship where love and forgiveness dominate rather than hatred and anger. The Bible stresses the importance of love in our life in general (1 Corinthians 13:1-8) as well as in the marriage relationship in particular (Ephesians 5:22-33; Titus 2:4). Hatred and love are contrasted in the Bible (Proverbs 10:12; 1 John 2:9-11; 3:14-18). Spouses must guard against letting hatred toward one another develop if they want the type of marriage God intends for them to have. Anger can be another problem especially if we let it sit and fester instead of addressing it. Ephesians 4:26-27 stresses the importance of addressing and resolving anger rather than letting it linger. The couple I mentioned earlier were also said to have lived by the rule of not going to bed angry with one another. At times following such a rule was probably difficult for them as it might be for us but it certainly can help us in making for a better marriage based upon godly principles.
Let’s be committed to being the types of husbands and wives God would have us to be! Let’s make sure our marriages are examples to the world and our children of the type of marriage God intends for them to have! Let’s use our marriages as a means to glorify God as we apply His instructions to this portion of our lives!